UnComfortable Christianity?

is 61 1The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners, Isaiah 61:1 (NIV Bible Hub)

I usually cry when I read this. My heart is so stirred for the hurting people both in the church and in the world. But being stirred is not enough.

What do I do?

Searching for people, books, blogs, etc that possibly put into words my inner turmoil has consumed my time lately.

The book Interrupted: When Jesus Wrecks Your Comfortable Christianity by Jen Hatmaker, put much of what is happening in my spirit, (or rather between me and The Holy Spirit) into perspective. book interrupted

 

First, as I read pg 14, I was shocked that someone else is having a similar experience. The question looming over my head lately is “Do I really love Jesus?” “If so, what does LOVE JESUS look like, act like, sound like?”

The institutionalized religion of Christianity has me somewhat bumfuzzled. I’ve been raised in it. I speak it’s language. I pray the prayers. I shake hands the right way. I know the nods. I know all the songs (old hymns and new worship). I am even “spirit filled” which means I raise my hands and move when I pray and sing too!

However, I can’t remember the last time I led a sinner to Christ. I feed the hungry “spiritually”. I’m a teacher, a prayer warrior, mentor…

We feed many people at our house in the name of fellowship but they can all feed themselves just fine. We enjoy their company.

I never took blankets to the homeless or visited prisoners.

The scripture “feed my sheep” is repeated in my spirit…

John 21:17  The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

A lightbulb came on in my head. I don’t get to choose which parts of the command I fulfill  in Isaiah 61, John 21:17, and …

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in.” Matthew 25:35

I don’t get to choose to do those acts of love and service that I want to do or like to do. I shouldn’t refuse to do some acts of service because I don’t like doing them and they make me feel uncomfortable.

In my life I chose teaching as the preferred method of “feeding the sheep” I even occasionally preach and desire to preach and teach more. My preferred method is not God’s desire for me…or so I am beginning to comprehend.

I must serve people that no one else wants to serve for starters.

I am uncomfortable in modern Christianity.

Are you willing to be uncomfortable with the status quo of institutionalized religion that has forgotten how to love the unloveble, the poor, the broken, the imperfect?

Mark 12:31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

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